Not sure of the origin of this but I love it

I got this story in an e-mail...if anyone can help with attributing it to the creator I'd appreciate it

One morning, a husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, his wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says,

"Good morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?").

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day, ma'am," he says, and he leaves.

Moral: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Juno soundtrack and "The Moldy Peaches"

I confess that I had to google "The Moldy Peaches" because Tony bought the Juno soundtrack after we saw the movie. And I didn't get the song in the movie until I saw the notes from Jason Reitman in the album notes about how they chose the song and I still can't claim to be a big fan of the 'anti-folk' movement of which they are part from a musical perspective.

I also still won't say that I love their voices; I don't think anyone chooses to listen to them because they are awesome singers. And I probably won't run out and buy all the albums to put on my mp3 player...

That said, I have been poking around on Kimya Dawson's myspace, her personal webpage and wikipedia and I have to say that I like her lyrics and her take on the some of the things going on in the world. I haven't heard this song that I posted below, I have no idea what the melody is like or anything, but I think the lyrics are what's important...and I like them, although they make me sad. The teacher part of me says, this is stream of conciousness poetry at it's best....

(Incidentally, Kimya herself is only a piece of "The moldy peaches" as a group. I watched she and Adam on "The View" and just based on that one performance, I don't like Adam as a person...weird but true.

He's probably a nice guy, who knows...but I felt for Kimya as she sat there on national tv singing with someone with whom she is longer involved as an artist or in her life, forced to sing without her guitar..she looked really uncomfortable. I don't claim to understand the dynamic between them...I just noticed how sad and out of place she looked. She's kind of been forced into the spotlight and I don't think she likes it. But that's my armchair psychology at work...)

***edit**** I went over to Kimya's livejournal and it looks like maybe part of the reason she was uncomfortable was people led her to believe "The View" was not affected by the writer's strike and she then found out that it was but she was already there and too much of a professional to back out of the performance at that point. She didn't want to cross the picket lines and she didn't think she was. Why do people lie to other people just to get them to do what they want? That really blows. ***end of edit***

hold my hand by Kimya Dawson (from the album I'm sorry that sometimes I'm mean)

once i knew a little girl who refused to eat
she just banged her head against the floor and didn't sleep for a week
both of her parents were mentally delayed and they
lived in constant fear that their daughter would be taken away
so instead of getting help they just pretended
that everything was okay
so i called the social worker and said "something is wrong"she said "you know how she turns into a brat
when she doesn't get what she wants
i'll call ya later when i'm done playing with my dogs"

sometimes the world is dark and cold
and no matter what i'm told
i'm scared and i'm alone and i'm five years old
will you hold my hand?

once i knew a little guy runny nose and bruises on his thighs
and i said "hey, what happened here?"he looked at me and said "well my dad he hates me"
so i called the social worker confidentially and she called his mom
and said "guess who thinks your husband is beating up your son?"
next thing i knew that family packed up and they were gone

back pressed flat against the wall
and they hit me with a ball
pretend it didn't hurt at all
will you hold my hand?

maybe i'll call oprah there must be something she can do
i'll say "i'm fat and i'm black and i'm sick of seeing little kids feel blue"
and me and oprah we will fix c.p.s.
and make sure the people working with kids have bigger hearts than the rest
and if you wanna have a baby you'll hafta pass a test

it sucks when for a little kid living means lying
and the only place you feel safe is pretending your flying
and you'd rather be caught dead than be caught crying
will you hold my hand?

abuse and neglect are highly contagious so
i called that social worker up and i said "hey lady you're outrageous"
she said "smarty-pants, you want a gold star?" i said
"no i wanna bash your head in with a crowbar, but
the cycle of violence has to end somewhere"

come and take a swim with me
we'll wait underwater patiently
for the output of endorphins as we're swallowed by the sea
will you hold my hand?
will you hold my hand?
will you hold my hand?

(copied and pasted from http://kimyadawson.com/lyricssorry.html I attempted to preserve the formatting because I think it is part of her story telling)

I also like "12/26" which is on her site here http://kimyadawson.com/

Someone at Berkeley or somewhere ought to teach a course in 'political commentary by the anti-folk movement' and invite Kimya to speak...she seems to have a lot to say. I'm glad that the movie has been popular enough to get people like me (who would never otherwise have discovered her)to think about the issues she brings up. She seems smart and together and I think that's pretty cool.

Which baby is which? Okay, the blue blanket vs. the pink blanket is a clue...

Valentine's Day

I spent most of today feeling absolutely physically awful. This pregnancy has been harder on me than my first in some ways, and one of them is that the second trimester has been worse than the first. They call it the 'honeymoon' phase for most women; not for me! So far, it's been way worse than my first tri. I've been nauseous more, fighting constant dizziness (doc thinks it's nothing to worry about, I just need to avoid standing or sitting in one place for long periods. Sort of difficult since I sit at a desk on the phone ALL day long.)

The other problem is I really HAVE to eat every two hours, if I don't, when I do eat, I throw whatever it is up pretty quickly and can't keep anything down for the next half hour or so. Seems counter-productive to throw up because I'm hungry....still hungry after the throwing up.
That also seems to happen if I let myself get dehydrated. And of course, the problem with drinking enough water to stay hydrated is then I have to run to the bathroom constantly!!

It's really a catch-22. So there's my whine for the day...

I started writing this cuz I was thinking about V-day and a discussion I had with a friend at work the other day about it. Our husbands both asked what we wanted to do for the holiday and we both said we didn't want to do anything. We basically had the same argument; I'd rather you show me you love me every day in whatever small ways you choose, then one day a year (or just on the holidays and special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries) I'm lucky that my husband is pretty good at those most of the time. One of the best ways he shows me is by taking care of our little man...